Uninspiring Bits of Yesterday
by Kat-Arva
Summary: Blair left with Dan. Much good it did her and everyone else. (not happy dair, not happy at all) it is readable now


Abandoning everything and everyone they ever knew to go to Europe for summer and never come back was the easiest decision of his life.

Chuck never called but Blair deleted his number anyway. Dan thought that he was glad – she chose him yet again (he stubbornly didn't think how it didn't matter because she probably knew the numbers by heart). Dad checked on him once in a while, Lily sent a message asking if he knew where Serena was. Apparently she was missing again. Lily went back to Bart and Dan's father went back to Brooklyn. Then it was like they didn't exist for NY anymore.

So he wrote on paper. Pages upon pages of how beautiful broken Claire found happiness in Dylan's arms after Charlie. Endless passages about new life in the 'old world'. Because as far as he was concerned Chuck Bass could've been dead and Serena... literally fell off the face of the earth. He was content with that.

After a few moths nothing really happened in their lives. They travelled around and then some more and avoided Monaco. She learned the ropes of her mother's company. He worked writer-journalist still trying to find his style. Dan went (Blair ordered him) to some parties and galas she had to attend. He guilt-tripped her into going to movies with him (they never held hands).

By the end of the summer they (she) decided to rent a penthouse instead of living in hotels. He wanted to move to Italy but somehow never told her. So they settled in Paris.

They hadn't made friends there. Blair picked herself a new set of minions, he was acquitted with a few guys to drink with.

Waldorf –Roses did not approve of how (with whom) their daughter spent her Chuck-bought freedom. He felt it during every 'family dinner' (because the word 'brunch' disappeared from her lexicon – they were Europeans now after all).

He muted out her gushing about their life together and their plans to travel and thought about how they avoided real commitment or children discussion for unidentified amount of time. It was not like they didn't have their whole life in front of them, right? Dan very purposefully didn't think about how his better half already had been with a child and married. How she would be all these things again in a heartbeat with Chuck. How he himself would not putt of a family if it was with a blue eyed blonde.

Then came the time when he looked back into the past and wrote his second book. He didn't ask Blair's opinion - for her love of art he never believed she could understand him, read his words the right way... and not judge. Because as shallow and empty as he portrayed Serena she always read what he meant and was in awe of his talent (all she could do was be beautiful and laugh like a child. It could not compare, really). The blonde gave him a lot of him praise and never criticism. He would be a liar if he said he didn't like it.

Blair on the other hand... she was smart and not at all gentle in her opinions. She far too easily found flaws in his writing. She liked to point them out a lot, too.

It was when he said "You're my toughest critic" and she quickly smiled instead of answering that he noticed that her 'eyes didn't match her mouth'. Dan was too observant for his own good at times but in this case it took him years to finally get what Chuck meant. So he started to observe more.

She did not sound or look happy or in love with him. For some time even when he thought about it. And he… wasn't even sad about it.

Dan did not know how it came to that.

It his head Clair loved Dylan. How could she not? They were kindred spirits. He never hurt her. He helped her to heal a broken heart. What he stubbornly ignored was the fact that beautiful breathtaking Blair Waldorf he was inspired to write about was no character from a book. Neither was he.

But it did not matter because they had nowhere to return. So the life went on.

That is, until he got another blast from GG. He didn't even try to get his site back. Nor did he ever contemplate coming clean to Blair. He was her savior not destroyer (that, and it was all about Serena and he hated to think about Blair as his consolation prize). Blair unsubscribed after they got to airport on the way to Europe but he could not.

Anyway, the blast was about C's untimely death aboard Bass Jet on the way to Moscow. His competition with the 'resurrected' father during last few months was public knowledge. In the statement Bart looked stoic and maybe a little sad.

If he got his way Blair would not have known for a while. She herself was not interested in news from over the seas, she did not have friends there (anymore) and all her family was in France... that family did not give her a choice. He saw all color drain from her face and phone fall from her hand.

Dan Humphrey saw Clair in her and wanted to save her. To write about her. What he forgot to consider but understood perfectly in that moment was that Blair could be a character in his book only when she was living her life where he was just a spectator. He could 'save' her only when there was antihero to break her heart first.

Charlie Trout was dead for years. Chuck Bass' funeral would be tomorrow and they were booking tickets to get there on time.

They entered the church and it was like the pair of them never left.

Just seeing Blair Serena burst into tears and collapsed in her arms. Nate hugged them both and glared at him. Eleanor held Lily who was clearly heartbroken and on the verge of hysteria. As if their children never broke each other hearts. Like the past did not matter anymore.

And he was just a spectator yet again.

Blair was pale and silent, being a pillar for the weakest of N-JBC but in her eyes Dan saw her crumbling. He was powerless to help her broken heart because it was turning to dust. Because her life story would never come to happily ever after and she finally knew it.

Seeing her pain-stricken face he felt a spark of inspiration and a desire to write.

He knew it would be the last time.


End file.
